Question

Can somebody please explain to me how to use a bidet? I don’t want to actually use one, but I would like to know how. And hey, maybe if I knew how to use it, I would. It is so disconcerting to me to not have any idea what to do with this object in a room that has so often been a sanctuary for me. I like walking into a place and knowing consciously and unconsciously how things work – that is so intrinsically linked with my sense of comfort. And I find that the European bathroom, or actually the non-North American bathroom is oddly unfamiliar. I don’t know what to do. To think, that the line of my cultural divide is drawn thusly.

I don’t mind not knowing the protocol at a restaurant – do I find my own table? Do I wait to be seated? At the grocery store – you want me to rent my shopping cart for a euro? Label my own produce? Pack my own bags? Buy the big ones? No problem. This is part of what I love about traveling – seeing how things that we all need to do – like eat, buy wine, make keys, etc., work in different countries and cultures.

But the bathroom is a different story. To me, bathroom (my personal bathroom) represents safety, it’s a retreat, a precious place. This is my space, my time, my privacy. This is the place where I create, alter, and take care of the person I share with the world – physically AND emotionally. Here, my defenses are down. I am vulnerable. I want comfort. I want familiarity.

But of course that creates its own problems considering that a huge part of how I figure out how to do things outside of what I know comes from observation and watching people. Since I have yet to meet anyone here that I would like to watch in the bathroom, much less on a bidet, I’m on my own. I mean, do you use soap? Do you walk over there with your pants around your ankles? Did that washcloth that I’m looking at really do that there? And what’s up with no shower curtains? It’s ok to leave huge puddles on the bathroom floor? Really?

Moving

Wow. Two weeks since my last post. Thank you Annie and Alfredo for sending me the charger for my camera and extra cables!

I have now been in Italy for three weeks. Where has the time gone?? Well, it’s been a busy few weeks here in beautiful Tuoro. I have officially moved from my very very very small room in the dancer’s house

into a small, but oh so cute apartment - on my own. (there is a song from Fame running through my head right now….) The apartment is just past Lenka’s house, down a deceptively low hill, beyond about four incredibly loud dogs.

I was a bit torn at first about moving into my own space. I am in a foreign country with very little Italian at my disposal (though it’s getting better daily), and I was thinking it would be better to be around people, even if it meant sleeping in a room where the walls were so close it felt like I was being hugged all night. But I am so used to being on my own. I like not talking all the time. I like not having to negotiate what kind of mood someone is in – not all the time anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I like people – I just happen to have really strong introvert AND extrovert tendencies…, and I like my privacy.

So I’ve been settling in. The dancers were gone for ten days performing – Lenka too, so I was really on my own, with the exception of Elisa in the office Mon-Wed mornings. I walked to the supermercato to buy my juice, prosciutto cotto, and Tabasco sauce. Everything else I can get in my local alimenteri/frutta e verdura shop. I love walking here. There are a lot of older people in the town and surrounding areas, and they all tend to stare at me with my American tennis shoes and backpack. But all I have to do is say, “Buon giorno!” and they are all smiles. This moment of facial transformation has become one of my favorites.

I have made my first real purchases here as well. I bought a knife,

which I AM bringing back with me. It’s crazy though – this American product domination – the knife is made in Italy, but packaged in the states, so all the writing is American, which does nothing for this American guilt I carry when I travel.

I also bought a train ticket (in Italian! - and I know the picture is reversed, but this was during the time I had no charge in my camera....) from my local tabacchi shop, and I had keys made. So it’s official - I live here, at least for this moment. I have keys. To my apartment, to the dancer’s house (for laundry and baths in the beautiful huge tub), and the theatre (for internet and rehearsals).